He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
