I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
