just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize