shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
