So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
