No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
