oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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