bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
