I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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