i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
