i barfeds in our rink
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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