i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
