Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you inspire me to be a worse person
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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