Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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