I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
