Why are handjobs necessary in class?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
