mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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