We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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