The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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