They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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