I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
