Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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