How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
