you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
