dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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