When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
