Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
