Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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