too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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