the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
