I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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