I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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