Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize