If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
