Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
