I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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