After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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