i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
