apparently the secret to your success is patron
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
