I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
