you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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