we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
