He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
