just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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