I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize