Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i barfeds in our rink
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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