I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
