Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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