I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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