I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize