i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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