Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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