Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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