i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
