Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
