Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
