I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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