Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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