Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
