plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
