My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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